It’s only been a few days but it feels like it’s been years, every night you shed tears. You try and get past it by assuring yourself that he just weren’t the one for you, and that he obviously didn’t love you how you loved him. But you ask yourself can you really be without him? You lose your appetite and find it hard to sleep. But this isn’t healthy. You try to talk to someone about it but they don’t understand. Everyday you want to pick up the phone, but you’re sat there wondering if he’ll call first. You’re phone rings. Pause. You get excited wishing it was him. But it’s just one of your girls, telling you how happy they are with their new man, not knowing what you’re going through. He holds you. He kisses you. He tickles you down your spine. Intimacy at it’s finest, you wish you could say he’s mine. He tells you his love is unconditional. Pause. Where is he now?He threw away your wholesomeness, and drained every ounce of your heart, this unconditional love that he claimed to be so sure about, turned out to have conditions. Conditions that didn’t include you, it’s the feelings that burn, its the feelings that churn your stomach. Crying you to sleep because the unconditional love wasn’t unconditional. Conditions applied you wasn’t a condition.
You go round and round in a circle. He hurt your feelings, says sorry and tells you he loves you. You take him back, and put it in the past. You try and get over it but it constantly causes you to over think. Over thinking causes stress therefore you get mad and send threats. He gets mad, saying why exaggerate, its not that deep!But that is just an excuse. You know he’s chatting shit but love is blind. It’s mad. He fucks up, you moan and complain. He gets annoyed with you. He’s in the wrong but you apologize and try and make things right… but that’s not right. I guess when you love someone you don’t think twice. Love is a blind fold , it’s a trap. The day comes when you realize you are not happy but something holds you back. You tried to work things out and stay because you’d rather stay than be alone. So you’re thinking, who’s going to make you smile like he did, who’s going to make you laugh like he did? It’s crazy. Your whole life revolves around him, you don’t trust anyone. You start getting snappy and doubt being happy again, you get super emotional and sensitive, But you still stay. So why still stay if all you know is that he brings sadness and pain?